My Roots are Planted in the Past

I was in Tucson over the Weekend.....I did some fun things, but what I want to tell you about, is my friend Janice....she is my BFF, yes Best Friend Forever! Maybe we aren't the best of friends at times, we are none the less Best Friends.
Jason was 2 when I met Janice...that was 27 years ago....a lifetime.
The 2 of us together, never made any sense...I was always the stable one, Janice was off the wall, flighty.
We did everything together, and we have so many wonderful memories...and some not so wonderful memories....None the less, I love her!
In 2000, Janice called me, to tell me that she had been diagnosed with Hep C, and another one of our close friends (Jennifer, tho we call her Angel), had also been given the same diagnosis at about the same time....they thought I should get checked....we all got tatoo's from the same guy (Pipes), at the same time...and they were wondering if maybe, that is where it came from...I tested clean.
They went on Interfuron, and Angel quit drinking any alcohol...these days, she is doing fine and living in ShowLow. Janice quit drinking for awhile, and had a baby.....Tyler (the kids and I call him Tippy), sadly, her sobriety didn't last long, she is an Alcoholic, we all know it, and she says it.
Two years ago, she was told that she has Cirrhosis, still she drank, and worse I think, than she did before......we have had alot of discussion about her drinking. She knows that she is going to die...and she knows that she is killing herself, and she is okay with it. I am not, but these weren't my choices.....and I think that maybe, after years of being angry with her , I am at peace with her bad decisions now.
A couple of months ago, she had another Ultra sound on her liver, and they found a tumor in her gall bladder. She chose not to have the tumor markers done, Cirrotic livers commonly develop cancer, so this was no surprize. We will never know if she has cancer now or not, she is rejecting treatment for it. It is just another part of this death, to her.
When I saw her then, she was thin, except for the bloating of her torso, common for Cirrosis. She was complaining about her skin, and we went and got her some really good moisturizer, and she was content.
Yesterday, she looked the same, except the bloating is much worse, and the skin issues are really bad...I made her promise to go to the doctor, and at least get something to put on the sore spots. I believe she will!
I always thought Janice and I would be old together....yesterday, it hit me...she is dying, and it is going to be soon....we have maybe a year, a little more a little less. But our time together is slipping away.
Alot happened yesterday...she told me that she saw her Mom and Dad the day before, and that there is a plot in the Cemetary in New York for her, if she wants it....near where Babe Ruth is buried (she loves that idea) her grandparents and great grand parents are buried there (something else that she likes).
She has never been materialistic, but she has some things that are important to her, and yesterday I started bringing these things home with me. Some things I thought it was okay to bring home, and others that I talked her into keeping a bit longer. She is tying up her loose ends, and I am trying to keep some of them loose. Right now, her sewing machine, the antique scissors and pinking shears from her great aunt, and her Mink Coat are all sitting on my bed...and making all of this very real, and VERY emotional for me.
I am so grateful that she has a fantastic man in her life..we have known him forever, and he is taking great care of her....she managed to pull together enough energy to have a water fight with Tippy yesterday, good for her!
I know that she could go fast, that a varisis could rupture and she could bleed to death rapidly..or this could all draw out and be so slow, and the selfish part of me wants it to draw out, so I can go and stay, and hold her hand, and lay in bed with her and talk about the good old days, and be there with, and for her, and Jim and Tippy when she does go, and so that I am not alone in her death either.
I video taped her yesterday...I was going to put that on my Blog...but I have changed my mind...later, I will find a picture from the past, when she was young and beautiful, and that is what I will put here....for now, a picture of Tippy that I took yesterday.